It’s Time to Change Your Twitter Bio when…

One of the things I dislike about social media or being on the internet in general, is having to be exposed to a lot of brain fart. You know, stupid, dumb and idiotic things people say that lowers your IQ. They’re everywhere – in World of Warcraft, in YouTube, in forums, in Facebook and of course, in Twitter.

I’ve been building up my Twitter followers lately for my Internet Marketing Network – manually, not autobot-style, so I tend to read people’s bio to see if they’re someone I want to follow. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of stupids out there with stupid twitter bio that makes me throw up a little.

You know it’s Time to Change Your Twitter Bio when:

1. You Claim that You’re the Queen of something

Unless you’re the Queen of England or Queen Latifah, just don’t go there. Same with “King”.
Examples – Queen of marketing, Queen of life coaching, official Queen twitter, Internet Queen, Queen Bitch… spare us and go stab yourself with a fork, please.

2. You are a self proclaimed Guru or Expert

Examples – Internet marketing guru, Youtube Beauty Guru, love guru, tech guru, weight loss guru… you’re a bullshit guru, that’s what you are! And I laugh at those who say they’re a social media expert and they don’t even have a thousand Twitter followers.

3. You try too hard to sound like you’re deep and meaningful…

This only makes you look like a pretentious wanker that’s full of shit. Examples -
“I’m an integrity fanatic”
“integrally informed”
“interested in a tapestry of perspectiveness”
“dedicated to a revolution of consciousness”
Twitter should come with a barf bag.

4. You look like you should go back to elementary school or prison

If you can’t even string a decent sentence, why must you tweet? Examples -
“bitch i do dis”
“what the fuck you looking at”
“want 2 be my boyfriend? lol”
“Im cocky dats all u need to kno”
“.1 nd OnLy..caN n3vEr be RePLaced”
… and many more. Do us a favour, dumbarses and delete your twitter account!

5. You mention how much you love God, Jesus or Justin Bieber in your bio

The worst I’ve seen: “We tweet for God alone”. If it’s really only for God, tweet it in your head.
If I have a dollar for every time I see God or Jesus or Justin Bieber mentioned in a Twitter bio, I don’t have to be doing socializing in Social Media websites for Internet Marketing purposes because I wouldn’t have to. I’d be freakin’ rich!